Resilience is a complex quality that researchers have begun to unravel. It can be hard to define because it involves many factors, such as our genes, our environment, and the learned capacity associated with experience. While our ability to bounce back from the obstacles that life throws at us is an essential aspect of resilience, it can also surface in other equally adaptive ways that challenge our understanding of the concept. Resilience is a skill that helps you recover quickly from difficulties. It can even make you stronger than before.
People can survive the most challenging ordeals and emerge stronger on the other side. They may not even realize how they got through these ordeals until they face another difficult situation. Resilience is the ability to adapt, grow and thrive in the face of change. Resilient people bounce back from adversity, adapt to new situations and, in fact, often become stronger as a result of their struggles. Psychology recognizes that individuals who have gone through significant life events do not always recover effortlessly. Although they may experience setbacks, the darkest times lead to growth. This growth can include:
- A new or revised self-image
- Enriched and Clarified Relationships
- Altered Priorities
For those who are resilient, a renewed purpose can strengthen their resolve. A resilient psychological state can protect people from the negative effects of stress and help them regain a sense of control over their lives. Some psychologists believe that resilience is a multi-faceted concept, made up of three essential elements: the ability to handle adversity, a flexible response to stressors, and an ongoing search for ways to improve oneself. The following are three essential factors in building resilience.
- Recovery
- Resistance
- Reconfiguration
People who are resilient tend to be more adaptable, open to new changes and experiences, and adopt a healthy perspective when they see setbacks as opportunities for learning.
How do you become more resilient?
1. Reframe the catastrophe
Catastrophizing is when we expect the worst possible outcome in a situation. For example, you may have lost your job and believe that you will never be successful again. You believe everyone will think you’re a failure forever. This may sound extreme. Most of us don’t catastrophize quite this much, but many of us do. We sometimes believe that the worst possible outcomes will come true. Being aware of possible negative outcomes can be helpful for planning ahead. When we believe the worst will come true, we set ourselves up for unnecessary stress and poor resilience.
To break the pattern of imagining the worst, wear a pendant or carry a stone. Whenever you find yourself imagining something negative about a person, situation or outcome–namely that it will be terrible–analyze the object. Name its color, shape and details. This will be just enough distraction to help calm your mind,
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2. Stop your negative thought cycles
When bad things happen, we sometimes get stuck thinking about negative outcomes. We repeatedly think about what we could have done differently. How we are going to mess up again in the future. Ruminating on events gives us a sense of control over them. That is an illusion. Negative thought cycles just get us caught up in our thoughts instead of taking action to move forward.
To break the negative thought cycles that we develop over time. We can interrupt ourselves when our thoughts go into a negative direction. Create a behavioral break or an action plan for what we’ll do when these thoughts emerge.
Exercise is a great way to take a break from intense mental activity. But if you can’t exercise try doing something that uses both your mind and your body. For example, excuse yourself for five minutes to practice deep breathing. Deep breathing helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which can both calm you and switch off stress.
3. Beat your fear of failure
We all want to be resilient, but many of us avoid failure at all costs. Doing so because we are afraid of failure. We worry that people will think poorly of us if we fail and feeling ashamed when we fail. By treating failure like a disease to be avoided, we never give ourselves a chance to overcome challenges. To practice resilience. So how do you conquer your fear of failure so that you can start building resilience?
If you see failure as a threat, your body will prepare for a fight. You’ll feel like you’re in a battle. If you choose to view doing something hard. Maybe as a challenge, then you are more likely to think that you are capable of handling it. When you view things that could possibly fail at as challenges. You not only will you be more capable of succeeding but also less likely to fail at them.
4. Challenge negative mindsets
To build a “challenge mindset,” remind yourself of your ability to overcome challenges. If you’re worried about starting a new job, take a moment to think back to other goals you’ve achieved. Remind yourself that you have been successful at things in the past, even small things. When you remind yourself that you have succeeded before, you can help shift towards a challenge mindset.
Next, focus on visualizing success. By imagining yourself doing well, you shift your mindset to do well. On the other hand, if you ruminate about what could go wrong, your fear builds and can lead to failure. Keep in mind that even if you are able to shift your brain to stop seeing something as a threat. Nervousness and anxiety may be an emotion you experience. These emotions can help you make better use of them.
5. Find the benefits
When you are faced with a challenge, it can be difficult to see beyond all of the problems. But this situation can change if you learn to look for the benefits in failure. For example, imagine that you have an important presentation coming up soon. You have been working hard on it for days, but then realize that you’ve made some mistakes in your work. Letting yourself get upset about this challenge, might be harder for you to find any benefits from it. If you try to look for the benefits in your past challenges you can start to practice this skill and strengthen it. It becomes easier if it happens again in the future.
Resilience is a trait that helps people, communities and systems thrive in the face of adversity. Resilient individuals are typically more adaptable, open to new changes and experiences, and adopt a healthy perspective when they see setbacks as opportunities for learning. Most clients will benefit from working with a therapist or coach to improve their resilience directly because of an increased engagement with their lives or indirectly with a newfound confidence to be open to new opportunities and possibilities.
I started my Self-Awareness Coaching career to help women create lives they love. I hope to assist you on your path toward greater self-awareness by teaching you how to understand yourself better and make decisions based on an understanding of what you want. With an expert strategy and tailored development plan, we will set realistic goals that you can achieve and use to continue working toward reaching your full potential.
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